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| Taken in Las Vegas in 2010, C. Tina Puksic |
Monday, October 4, 2010
★ In need of a good book ★
It seems like a sea of devotion has been given to my work, which is now approaching a "wrap up" (hopefully).
I do love working, especially if it's for the purpose of art or something great...and here comes the big "but". This time it does not include a completely negative opposite; it represents only a longing for more time to enjoy a good book, which my line of work doesn't always allow, unfortunately.
I took a pile of books to my couch the other day and embarked on the story of the first, second, third...None swallowed my attention. They were either written in a dull style or were about broken relationships and the stream-of-consciousness drama that they entail. Not my kinda read!
Then I borrowed one from a colleague. It seemed like THE one in the beginning. For a second or so. It was titled "The Violin", by A. Rice and the beginning sort of got me by the hook for a moment. But as I progressed, it was less and less inviting. I came to the third page and was terribly angry at the content, which totally pissed me off. Even more so, because the style of writing was darn good, but the story....oh, boy. I am so sick and tired of these "drama"-stories involving f***ed up relationships that it makes me want to vomit.
Then I borrowed one from a colleague. It seemed like THE one in the beginning. For a second or so. It was titled "The Violin", by A. Rice and the beginning sort of got me by the hook for a moment. But as I progressed, it was less and less inviting. I came to the third page and was terribly angry at the content, which totally pissed me off. Even more so, because the style of writing was darn good, but the story....oh, boy. I am so sick and tired of these "drama"-stories involving f***ed up relationships that it makes me want to vomit.
I usually give a book a chapter or two - but not this one. The last time I hated a book this much - but managed to fight my way to the end - was a few years back when I read Jaywalking with the Irish. This one is much worse.
So, now, I just keep to my dearest McSweeney's Quarterly, my dearest old friend Harington and the great Eudora Welty.
I need something new, though. My book shelf is about to break, I've got so many books....but none seems to be right at the moment. ...
Any ideas?
★ Books I might or might not love ★
Annie Proulx, The Shipping News
John Berger, Ways of Seeing
David Sedaris, Me Talk Pretty One Day
Zadie Smith, Changing My Mind
★ ...those I already love ★
Eudory Welty, everything by her
John Fante, everything by him
Coelho, Alchemist
Jack Kerouac, On the Road
many more....but not now.
John Berger, Ways of Seeing
David Sedaris, Me Talk Pretty One Day
Zadie Smith, Changing My Mind
★ ...those I already love ★
Eudory Welty, everything by her
John Fante, everything by him
Coelho, Alchemist
Jack Kerouac, On the Road
many more....but not now.
Monday, April 12, 2010
★ A working day in the life of Tina P. ★
It begins at 6 or 6.30 (or 7, if I only brush my teeth, hide those pimples and run da hell out of my apartment). Usually, it begins with a shower, where I also drink my first cup of coffee, a very very urgent cup of coffee with lots of coffee grains and very little water. I then, all freshly showered, wearing freshly washed clothes ( but all wrinkly, because I do not have an iron ) start my 30 minute walk to work. It's always freezing cold at the beginning. By the time I reach the bridge crossing the river, sweat is running down my spine and by the time I reach the office, I am soaked in sweat and the clothes lose all the wrinkles because the sogginess straightened them out.
The next thing I do at the office is - I make another cup of coffee, (I should really drink one in the shower) again, an URGENT cup of mainly coffee and little water. Then I start working - with numerous pee-breaks.
8 hours are gone in a second and I feel like I spent them in the toilet, and again, I embark on my 30 minute walk home. It seems like DAAAAAAAAYS OF WALKING before I reach my appartment, which is in the 5th floor. I reach the apartment after climbing a GAZILLION STAIRS and the first thing I do is - I try to catch my breath, which usually means I need to run to the window, open it and fill my lungs with air that is not infested with cat shit and piss. (bless the cat's heart for having to use that shitty toilet).
Then, I am confused for about half an hour, not knowing what to do with the time that is left before I go to sleep. It is not enough to finish a project I so carefully planned at the beginning of my walk home and suddenly lost all interest in. It is not enough to run outside before it gets dark and play with my camera, which so patiently waits in the bag, begging to be used again (and often). It is not enough time to have four beers with friends. It is not enough to ..... So, I waste the day cleaning the apartment, lay down in my bed and fall asleep like a dead old man.
The next morning, and every morning, the first thought that appears is wanting to shoot the goddamn alarm clock with a MASSIVE RIFLE for disturbing me at an unimaginable hour that feels like THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. But then, I manage to lift my body and I try to picture a meadow filled with daisies in the sunshine....Sometimes it works, sometimes I want to shoot them daisies too. :)
But, oh, life...and death and taxes. And bills....and life....and spring....and rain....and life....and and and.
A day is too short and there's so much to do. All those plans made while walking....and not enough time and/or energy to give them life and purpose. ... Perhaps I should wait to get in that perfect "working-shape" first and then I will be able to MOVE MOUNTAINS after work. Does that ever happen? I mean, do we get in shape after a while of regular 8 or more- hour work? Well, if it doesn't I might as well shoot that goddamn alarm clock and never get up at all.....
But I think I will go with a "yes" and continue picturing them daisies in the sun. :) Projects will be given life when the time is right...
Until then - chop chop, work, work and smile, smile. ;))))
The next thing I do at the office is - I make another cup of coffee, (I should really drink one in the shower) again, an URGENT cup of mainly coffee and little water. Then I start working - with numerous pee-breaks.
8 hours are gone in a second and I feel like I spent them in the toilet, and again, I embark on my 30 minute walk home. It seems like DAAAAAAAAYS OF WALKING before I reach my appartment, which is in the 5th floor. I reach the apartment after climbing a GAZILLION STAIRS and the first thing I do is - I try to catch my breath, which usually means I need to run to the window, open it and fill my lungs with air that is not infested with cat shit and piss. (bless the cat's heart for having to use that shitty toilet).
Then, I am confused for about half an hour, not knowing what to do with the time that is left before I go to sleep. It is not enough to finish a project I so carefully planned at the beginning of my walk home and suddenly lost all interest in. It is not enough to run outside before it gets dark and play with my camera, which so patiently waits in the bag, begging to be used again (and often). It is not enough time to have four beers with friends. It is not enough to ..... So, I waste the day cleaning the apartment, lay down in my bed and fall asleep like a dead old man.
The next morning, and every morning, the first thought that appears is wanting to shoot the goddamn alarm clock with a MASSIVE RIFLE for disturbing me at an unimaginable hour that feels like THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. But then, I manage to lift my body and I try to picture a meadow filled with daisies in the sunshine....Sometimes it works, sometimes I want to shoot them daisies too. :)
But, oh, life...and death and taxes. And bills....and life....and spring....and rain....and life....and and and.
A day is too short and there's so much to do. All those plans made while walking....and not enough time and/or energy to give them life and purpose. ... Perhaps I should wait to get in that perfect "working-shape" first and then I will be able to MOVE MOUNTAINS after work. Does that ever happen? I mean, do we get in shape after a while of regular 8 or more- hour work? Well, if it doesn't I might as well shoot that goddamn alarm clock and never get up at all.....
But I think I will go with a "yes" and continue picturing them daisies in the sun. :) Projects will be given life when the time is right...
Until then - chop chop, work, work and smile, smile. ;))))
Friday, February 19, 2010
★ ...Tina's tribute to VINTAGE...★
V starih časih so imeli več časa.
Vsemu so posvečali več pozornosti in energije....in časa.
Žvekali so čigumije z lepšimi ovitki, odvijali lepše embalaže, si opremljali stanovanja z lepšo opremo, vozili desetkrat bolj estetsko oblikovane avtomobile, se lepše oblačili, jedli iz bolj zanimive posode....vse je bilo bolj "skrbno" in umetniško izdelano.
Všeč všeč všeč.
My vintage ride;)
(Someday;))
My vintage chewing gum :)))
Vsemu so posvečali več pozornosti in energije....in časa.
Žvekali so čigumije z lepšimi ovitki, odvijali lepše embalaže, si opremljali stanovanja z lepšo opremo, vozili desetkrat bolj estetsko oblikovane avtomobile, se lepše oblačili, jedli iz bolj zanimive posode....vse je bilo bolj "skrbno" in umetniško izdelano.
Všeč všeč všeč.
My vintage ride;)(Someday;))
My vintage chewing gum :)))
Vintage everything ;)))
★ Self-portraits = narcisissm? ★
What do you think? Do you think a person who posts photos of herself/himself looks vain? Is such a person a narcissist? Egoist?
I say, not necessarily. In general, I think it's kinda cool:). The view on the matter should be: isn't it totally cool that a person likes and is confident about their looks and character? How fortunate. How many people do/are? And why would that be a bad thing?
Also - how are you ever going to know other people if not knowing yourself from inside-out first? Ashamed of taking pics of yourself? Well, I don't see why. Unless you are ashamed of yourself...
Think visual world is not spiritual enough, that it is superficial? Why? It can be extremely spiritual. A photograph (any photograph for that matter) of oneself carries meaning and, as we have heard so many times, more than a thousand words :))). Thus, if you think a photograph is superficial, then you think written language is superficial. It is just as visual. In fact, a photograph, being a visual text, can carry even more meanings than the written text. It can be interpreted from certain perspectives; it can hide idioms:)
Anyway, the additional (good) reasons for self-portraits are that you can already learn a lot of the technical stuff on your camera just by taking shots of yourself.
Sometimes, self-portraits are amusing when it's raining outside and you're extremely bored. So, a lot of times self-portraits are a consequence of boredom (or amusement), they turn out great and creative and you publish them for their uniqueness. It doesn't mean that you are narcissistic. Not in a bad way, anyway.:))))
...if you think otherwise, you are simply too prejudiced and should start accumulating more positivity in your life ;)
I say, not necessarily. In general, I think it's kinda cool:). The view on the matter should be: isn't it totally cool that a person likes and is confident about their looks and character? How fortunate. How many people do/are? And why would that be a bad thing?
Also - how are you ever going to know other people if not knowing yourself from inside-out first? Ashamed of taking pics of yourself? Well, I don't see why. Unless you are ashamed of yourself...
Think visual world is not spiritual enough, that it is superficial? Why? It can be extremely spiritual. A photograph (any photograph for that matter) of oneself carries meaning and, as we have heard so many times, more than a thousand words :))). Thus, if you think a photograph is superficial, then you think written language is superficial. It is just as visual. In fact, a photograph, being a visual text, can carry even more meanings than the written text. It can be interpreted from certain perspectives; it can hide idioms:)
Anyway, the additional (good) reasons for self-portraits are that you can already learn a lot of the technical stuff on your camera just by taking shots of yourself.
Sometimes, self-portraits are amusing when it's raining outside and you're extremely bored. So, a lot of times self-portraits are a consequence of boredom (or amusement), they turn out great and creative and you publish them for their uniqueness. It doesn't mean that you are narcissistic. Not in a bad way, anyway.:))))
...if you think otherwise, you are simply too prejudiced and should start accumulating more positivity in your life ;)
★ Secret-sauce mix of fancy gear ★
The secret ingredient to my fancy gear is ........
ta ta: creativity.
One can shoot photos with the cheapest camera in the world, and take darn good images. Just use plastic bottles, pieces of glass, eggs (scramble them and put the thing over a print to give it a very old look), make your own fish-eye lens, make your own tripod (or just lean on a fixed object) and ask a friend to hold a torch for you instead of buying an expensive flash.
Also: do what YOU like, not what others do. It makes it more fun.
I surely believe one can win the battle with finances:). Just think outside of the box:)))))
ta ta: creativity.
One can shoot photos with the cheapest camera in the world, and take darn good images. Just use plastic bottles, pieces of glass, eggs (scramble them and put the thing over a print to give it a very old look), make your own fish-eye lens, make your own tripod (or just lean on a fixed object) and ask a friend to hold a torch for you instead of buying an expensive flash.
Also: do what YOU like, not what others do. It makes it more fun.
I surely believe one can win the battle with finances:). Just think outside of the box:)))))
Can Auschwitz be saved?
This January 27 marked the 65th anniversary of Auschwitz’s liberation by Soviet soldiers.
It is today a museum and a memorial.
It is today a museum and a memorial.
The February issue article in the Smithsonian about restoring Auschwitz made me think about its value, or about its purpose today. It is a Unesco World Heritage site, a distinction usually reserved for places of culture and beauty.
I have always felt a curious interest in the WWII era, perhaps because my grandmother and her generation were directly "connected" to it. They were IN it, they experienced the war and all that it brought along as opposed to me and my generation who are "merely" reading about it (not that I would want to experience it myself). I find that mind blowing. Reading about it always creates a certain distance between the reader and the actual experience. It is as if it wasn't real. But, our grandmothers showed us their ragged hands, their wrinkly faces, their hurt souls; they told us their cruel childhood stories and showed us the tiredness in their eyes, the hurt, the pain. That "distance" becomes smaller. Nowadays, monuments, museums, personal stories written down in books and photographs documenting the horrors committed then remind us that it was very real.
To go a step further, it is a fact that the winners write history. What we read, or at least, what we used to read or learn about history is thus altered - it is shown to us from ONE perspective and IT is not objective. In the last few decades, this has started to change. The history is written by both sides. In connection to the WWII, particularly the holocaust, new stories have sprung up, photographs have been found, documents have been dug up. The holocaust story is becoming more and more detailed.
In 2009, I saw many new documentaries about the holocaust. The perspective about it has changed over the years, the history has been rewritten. I mean, as it was considered then, it is still considered the largest mass murder in human history.
It is not possible to write about the holocaust in technical terms, so I shall not. It is emotionally too overwhelming and no (negative) superlative seems strong enough to describe the holocaust.
Anyway, to come back to the question which is also hinted at in the above mentioned article, I think the question could be, not could we save it, but Should we save it? One reason for not saving it, as Robert Jan van Pelt, a cultural historian in the school of architecture at the University of Waterloo in Ontario, Canada puts it is that Auschwitz is a “kind of theme park, cleaned up for tourists...Seal it up. Don’t give people a sense that they can imitate the experience and walk in the steps of the people who were there." But then again, masses of people see it every year and the very presence of the ghosts there affects them.
To go a step further, it is a fact that the winners write history. What we read, or at least, what we used to read or learn about history is thus altered - it is shown to us from ONE perspective and IT is not objective. In the last few decades, this has started to change. The history is written by both sides. In connection to the WWII, particularly the holocaust, new stories have sprung up, photographs have been found, documents have been dug up. The holocaust story is becoming more and more detailed.
In 2009, I saw many new documentaries about the holocaust. The perspective about it has changed over the years, the history has been rewritten. I mean, as it was considered then, it is still considered the largest mass murder in human history.
It is not possible to write about the holocaust in technical terms, so I shall not. It is emotionally too overwhelming and no (negative) superlative seems strong enough to describe the holocaust.
Anyway, to come back to the question which is also hinted at in the above mentioned article, I think the question could be, not could we save it, but Should we save it? One reason for not saving it, as Robert Jan van Pelt, a cultural historian in the school of architecture at the University of Waterloo in Ontario, Canada puts it is that Auschwitz is a “kind of theme park, cleaned up for tourists...Seal it up. Don’t give people a sense that they can imitate the experience and walk in the steps of the people who were there." But then again, masses of people see it every year and the very presence of the ghosts there affects them.
"After three days at Auschwitz, I was left with the feeling that for some visitors, the former concentration camp is a box to check off on a tourist “to-do” list. But many people appeared genuinely moved. I saw Israeli teenagers crying and hugging each other and groups of people transfixed by the mug shots of prisoners that line the walls of one of the Auschwitz barracks. Walking through the room full of hair still makes my stomach churn. But what I hadn’t remembered from my first visit was the room next door filled with battered cooking pots and pans, brought by people who believed until the last moment that there was a future wherever they were being taken. And when Banas told me about the carefully folded math test that conservationists found hidden in a child’s shoe, I choked up. Even if only a fraction of the people who come here each year are profoundly affected, a fraction of a million is still a lot of people."
I hope Auschwitz (Poland) gets funds from other countries for preservation. I believe, and strongly, that it should be preserved. Absolutely save Auschwitz. But, as a "DENK MAL NACH", as a CONSTANT reminder of what beasts human beings can become/or are, as a nagging finger at the evils of humankind, as a preventive to evil. It should be saved as a sacred memorial.
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