It begins at 6 or 6.30 (or 7, if I only brush my teeth, hide those pimples and run da hell out of my apartment). Usually, it begins with a shower, where I also drink my first cup of coffee, a very very urgent cup of coffee with lots of coffee grains and very little water. I then, all freshly showered, wearing freshly washed clothes ( but all wrinkly, because I do not have an iron ) start my 30 minute walk to work. It's always freezing cold at the beginning. By the time I reach the bridge crossing the river, sweat is running down my spine and by the time I reach the office, I am soaked in sweat and the clothes lose all the wrinkles because the sogginess straightened them out.
The next thing I do at the office is - I make another cup of coffee, (I should really drink one in the shower) again, an URGENT cup of mainly coffee and little water. Then I start working - with numerous pee-breaks.
8 hours are gone in a second and I feel like I spent them in the toilet, and again, I embark on my 30 minute walk home. It seems like DAAAAAAAAYS OF WALKING before I reach my appartment, which is in the 5th floor. I reach the apartment after climbing a GAZILLION STAIRS and the first thing I do is - I try to catch my breath, which usually means I need to run to the window, open it and fill my lungs with air that is not infested with cat shit and piss. (bless the cat's heart for having to use that shitty toilet).
Then, I am confused for about half an hour, not knowing what to do with the time that is left before I go to sleep. It is not enough to finish a project I so carefully planned at the beginning of my walk home and suddenly lost all interest in. It is not enough to run outside before it gets dark and play with my camera, which so patiently waits in the bag, begging to be used again (and often). It is not enough time to have four beers with friends. It is not enough to ..... So, I waste the day cleaning the apartment, lay down in my bed and fall asleep like a dead old man.
The next morning, and every morning, the first thought that appears is wanting to shoot the goddamn alarm clock with a MASSIVE RIFLE for disturbing me at an unimaginable hour that feels like THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. But then, I manage to lift my body and I try to picture a meadow filled with daisies in the sunshine....Sometimes it works, sometimes I want to shoot them daisies too. :)
But, oh, life...and death and taxes. And bills....and life....and spring....and rain....and life....and and and.
A day is too short and there's so much to do. All those plans made while walking....and not enough time and/or energy to give them life and purpose. ... Perhaps I should wait to get in that perfect "working-shape" first and then I will be able to MOVE MOUNTAINS after work. Does that ever happen? I mean, do we get in shape after a while of regular 8 or more- hour work? Well, if it doesn't I might as well shoot that goddamn alarm clock and never get up at all.....
But I think I will go with a "yes" and continue picturing them daisies in the sun. :) Projects will be given life when the time is right...
Until then - chop chop, work, work and smile, smile. ;))))
The next thing I do at the office is - I make another cup of coffee, (I should really drink one in the shower) again, an URGENT cup of mainly coffee and little water. Then I start working - with numerous pee-breaks.
8 hours are gone in a second and I feel like I spent them in the toilet, and again, I embark on my 30 minute walk home. It seems like DAAAAAAAAYS OF WALKING before I reach my appartment, which is in the 5th floor. I reach the apartment after climbing a GAZILLION STAIRS and the first thing I do is - I try to catch my breath, which usually means I need to run to the window, open it and fill my lungs with air that is not infested with cat shit and piss. (bless the cat's heart for having to use that shitty toilet).
Then, I am confused for about half an hour, not knowing what to do with the time that is left before I go to sleep. It is not enough to finish a project I so carefully planned at the beginning of my walk home and suddenly lost all interest in. It is not enough to run outside before it gets dark and play with my camera, which so patiently waits in the bag, begging to be used again (and often). It is not enough time to have four beers with friends. It is not enough to ..... So, I waste the day cleaning the apartment, lay down in my bed and fall asleep like a dead old man.
The next morning, and every morning, the first thought that appears is wanting to shoot the goddamn alarm clock with a MASSIVE RIFLE for disturbing me at an unimaginable hour that feels like THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. But then, I manage to lift my body and I try to picture a meadow filled with daisies in the sunshine....Sometimes it works, sometimes I want to shoot them daisies too. :)
But, oh, life...and death and taxes. And bills....and life....and spring....and rain....and life....and and and.
A day is too short and there's so much to do. All those plans made while walking....and not enough time and/or energy to give them life and purpose. ... Perhaps I should wait to get in that perfect "working-shape" first and then I will be able to MOVE MOUNTAINS after work. Does that ever happen? I mean, do we get in shape after a while of regular 8 or more- hour work? Well, if it doesn't I might as well shoot that goddamn alarm clock and never get up at all.....
But I think I will go with a "yes" and continue picturing them daisies in the sun. :) Projects will be given life when the time is right...
Until then - chop chop, work, work and smile, smile. ;))))
No comments:
Post a Comment